[:en]Spiritual[:es]Espiritual[:]

HOW TO GET RID OF BAD LUCK

Luck
A force that brings good fortune, or adversity: the events or circumstances that operate for, or against, an individual

Good Luck
Favoring chance or outcome

Bad Luck
An unfortunate state resulting from unfavorable outcomes

Have you noticed there are some people who always seem to have good luck? Things just automatically go well for them constantly! They enjoy a ridiculous abundance of good fortune, they are successful in matters of love, successful in their careers, secure in their finances, and are just generally happy. Yet these people don’t seem to work particularly hard, nor do they possess extraordinary intelligence or other gifts.

Why?

Then of course there are those who experience the opposite. Some people repeatedly fail despite their efforts and talents. No matter how much they have, or what they own, they never really enjoy life. They are never satisfied. Lack seems to hound them, even though they work hard. It’s as if they exist under a dark cloud or a curse. They feel helpless and really don’t know what to do differently to gain control.
Why?

Luck is…
“A force that brings good fortune or adversity”

What is this “force?”
It’s what you choose to feed your mind…
It’s called your mindset!

What we chose to put into our minds, and what we think about has a huge impact on how effectively we live our lives. Our thoughts are much more powerful than most people seem to understand. We each have a choice as to what to internalize mentally. Some people choose to focus on the poisonous thoughts of pressure, intimidation and expectations. Others however choose to focus on the empowering thoughts of potential, possibilities and success. What we choose to establish in our minds will manifest as actions and determine what we begin to experience in our lives.

Think about solutions, think about capability, think about positivity, think about what you want to become and where you want to go. Many people spend their entire lives reacting to what they don’t want to be, instead of responding to their individual callings. Fix your eyes on the prize rather than the problems and obstacles.

It is more accurate to think of “BAD LUCK” as a negative attitude. “BAD LUCK” comes from a bad attitude, and a bad attitude comes from bad thoughts. A “bad luck” mentality may overcome a person because of certain attitudes they developed during childhood. It may be the result of living in an environment of lack and defeat, negative self-images and low self-esteem.

GOOD LUCK vs. BAD LUCK
This really is about the contrast between two attitudes:

BAD LUCK: One of fear, anxiety, worry, and greed.
GOOD LUCK: One of confidence, hope, peace, and trust.

BAD LUCK —————  GOOD LUCK
Worry                                       Peace
Anxiety                                     Relaxation
Greed                                        Trust
Panic                                         Joy
Out of control                    Sense of dominion
Fear                                           Confidence

Mindsets and tools to set you up for consistent GOOD LUCK

  • Expect Good – HOPE
  • Dream Big and have Purpose
  • Reject Superstitions and False beliefs about self
  • Maximize Opportunities and Work Hard
  • Stay Grateful
  •  Relax
  • Deal with bad luck – Power of Focus
  • Be a Giver
  • Visualization
  • Affirmations
  • Increasing Luck Through Spirituality and Prayer

Richard Martinez
Transformation Expert

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5 SIMPLE WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR SPIRIT

  1. Be a Giver

There is a spiritual principle that I call, “you get by giving”. Give your time, self and wealth and watch how it opens up your life to good things!

When we hoard and dam the blessings in our lives we are in danger of becoming spiritually stagnant, emotionally detached, and intellectually cynical. Resolve to break up the dam and let blessings flow like a river. The freshness is in the flow.

  1. Be Thankful

Seek, identify and be grateful for the good that is in your life and in the life of those you love. Too often we go through life oblivious to the good that comes flowing into our lives.

  1. Use Your Words to Build

I understand that life isn’t always positive, fair or peaceful. I am not saying that we should be in denial about the negative things in our lives. What I am challenging and encouraging you do is to confront and overcome the problems with a positive victorious mindset. Learn to respond with things that will edify and bring life rather than to react with words that destroy and divide. The lifestyle of grumbling, complaining, judging and criticizing will stunt and destroy your happiness and growth. The lifestyles that speak words that encourage, exhort, and are positivity produce, peace, passion and power. Speak words that edify, encourage and comfort!

May the Lord bless you and protect you.

May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.

May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace

(Numbers 6:24-26).

  1. Meditate

I myself often mediate on the bible because it’s loaded with verses of comfort, encouragement, and wisdom. Find something that builds, inspires, strengthens, and challenges you and mediate on it until it because a part of your mindset. Whether in the morning when you wake up, during your lunch break, or before you go to sleep, take five to 10 minutes to meditate each day.

  1. Forgive

Forgive yourself and others. Whether real or perceived it’s real to you, therefore if someone has hurt or wronged you in any way cleanse yourself through the power of forgiveness. If you have done wrong and feel bad about it, know that guilt, shame and self condemnation will not help you in any way that is good. Understand that every stage of inner growth is good and is nurtured by God, but when it’s time to move on, don’t hesitate to forgive yourself.

Richard Martinez

Transformation Expert

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CALLING AND CHARACTER GO HAND IN HAND

Biblical Understanding of Calling and Character

We each have a specific calling and purpose ordained by God.  In order to be successful at our calling in life, we must first determine exactly what it is and develop the character to maintain it. Calling and character go hand in hand. God not only gives us calling and purpose, but He also gives us the grace and ability to fulfill it.

Many believers have good character, but they have no purpose for that character. They are good people, yet they are not really making any difference in the world around them. If you want to change the world, you must be more than “good.” You must have a calling and a purpose to focus that “good” onto. There are also other believers who don’t have character but have a calling and purpose. They begin to do amazing things and can even affect thousands of people, but after a while, their character lacks so the enemy begins to use that vulnerability,  causing the most powerful leaders to fall.

Ephesians chapter 4 is an amazing chapter that connects both Calling and Character.

Eph 4:1 “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called,” In this first verse, the Apostle Paul is making it very clear that calling and character go hand in hand. He says, walk in a manner that is “worthy” of your call. But what is the call? We continue on in the passage to find out!

Eph 4:2-6 “with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.” To live with lowliness, gentleness, longsuffering, bearing with one another in love – this is all about character, but what is the call? In verse 3, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Then it goes into saying there is only one body, one Spirit etc. What is Paul asking us to be diligent about? To be diligent and preserve the unity of faith. What does this mean? Preservation denotes conserving something that is already established. To preserve something implies that it is already there. As the body of Christ (1Cor 12), as a believer and member of the church,  you’re not fighting and using energy to create unity, you’re not trying to create something, you’re trying to preserve it. The bible says that there is only one body, one Lord, one God, and one Jesus Christ who died for our sins. As we go into Him, we are all in Him. There’s one body, there is a unity. You cannot separate Christ, and you can’t divide Him. We are not fighting to create unity, we are being diligent to preserve it. There already is a unity; do not fall for the attacks and the lies of the enemy that try to get you to work and fight for something that you already have.

What does it mean to preserve the unity? It connects well with the ministry we’ve been given according to 2 Corinthians chapter 5 verses 18-19, “Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. ”

He gave us the ministry of reconciliation. He came not to count your trespasses against you, but to remove them, so we may be reconciled back to God. He brought forgiveness, healing, and empowerment. Our call is the same. We are called not to judge people and focus on their sin. We are to look past their problems and sin into their potential and into who God has really called them to be. We’re always showing the truth in love so that you can reconcile them to God.

This ties perfectly into what the gift of prophecy is about. 1 Corinthians chapter 14 says, “desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy” He speaks of spiritual  gifts but says there’s one gift you need to  strive for especially, “that you may prophesy.”  Verse 3 of chapter 14 in Corinthians says, “he who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men.” These are all things that build a person up, and again, bring about reconciliation.

In conclusion, we all have a calling in our lives. A purpose so to speak.  We must walk worthily in this call so as to persevere  and succeed at all of our endeavors. . We have been called to preserve unity, and to build the body of Christ through the ministry of reconciliation. We are to disciple people, teach them, baptize them, and we are to do this through the power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit was given to us to spread the gospel, heal the sick, and cast out demons thereby freeing those who have been enslaved by the devil. We are called to equip. This is our calling and how it manifests will look different according to the gifts we each have.  We must, therefore, learn to walk worthy of it. Each day we must put on our new self (Eph 4:24), which is living by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God (Matt 4:4).

Richard Martinez

Transformation Expert

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2016 ENDING WITH SUICIDE HOTLINES RINGING OFF THE HOOK

2016 Ending with Suicide Hotlines Ringing Off the Hook

Phones have been ringing off the hook at suicide hotlines since Donald Trump was named president-elect. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline is seeing calls “unmatched in the hotline’s history” with a response unlike that of 2008 or 2012. People were so afraid for their lives that they wanted to take their own. The heartbreaking reality of this is that it reveals a lack of faith, vision and purpose in people’s lives. These absences have led to confusion and anxiety so strong that we have reached the point would rather take their own lives than face this reality.

Is the Election to Blame? 

This isn’t happening to people because of the election but rather it’s a combination of things already going on in their lives. Many are already overwhelmed, stressed out, and broken and the stress of the election added to all of that. The election signifies dramatic change, which can increase the current state of distress and take people to a dark place. However, not everyone had this type of reaction to the news. Others have been affected in a positive way, even if they didn’t vote for Trump. The question is, why did the election produce anxiety for some and hope for others? The answer is perspective.

Have you ever noticed how some people attract problems in their lives while others have good things constantly flowing their way? Why is this?

There is power in perspective! 

The way we look at things will impact our entire being. What people feast their thoughts on will end up being reproduced in their lives.

The perspective that a person’s life takes is a reference to the orientation of one’s affections, desire, faith, and heart. There is power in focus and perspective. Where your thoughts go, your power and energy flow.

Emotions come and go, thought patterns change, but a person who is focused will benefit from having his heart focused on one direction. Someone with focus is more stable, happy, and productive in life. Remember, where your attention goes, power flows. Depending on their focus, they will be filled with spiritual light or darkness. Focusing on the things you are thankful for, having a mindset that seeks solution, and seeing potential is what will influence the world around you.

How do we deal with unhealthy perspectives and focus? 

Do you find yourself grumbling and complaining often? Do you focus on the struggles in life more than the beauty and blessings? If so what does it produce in your life? Do you have your best ideas and actions when you are afraid and stressed? This is not the most effective emotional state to produce the results we want to see in our lives.

Try to experience the benefits by going on a two-day negativity fast. No grumbling and complaining. No talking down to others. You will realize how much negativity you have wasted your energy on.

Realize that your emotions can be changed, though it’s not always easy. Your feelings are not your boss! You must change your perspective. Do something to disrupt the negativity and do it quickly. Is sadness rising up within you? Make yourself laugh, enjoy some comedy. Are you starting to eat something unhealthy? Put it down and choose a better alternative. Take control of your life. Are you bitter or angry with someone? Don’t allow anyone to destroy your peace. Forgive that person and move on for your own sake.

“I’m not negative, I’m realistic”

People are often concerned that by “acting” happy when they’re depressed, they’re being fake and lying to themselves and to others.

 

Remember, those are feelings – not who you are. You DO NOT need to allow them to have control and run your life. Why compromise your peace when you can counteract the negative emotions? You have the power and potential to do it. Don’t let feelings keep you from your destiny. Many spend their entire lives reacting to what they don’t want to be instead of responding to their life’s purpose. This is why having a clear vision for your life is so important.

Vision and purpose create a life worth living and a life worth living is one that makes a difference!

To anyone who is feeling afraid, angry, or confused about the election: regain your power. Don’t spend your life reacting to others or to your circumstances. When you blame others, you give up your power to make a change. You’re saying they control your thoughts, emotions, and subsequent words and actions. You are giving them the power of your own happiness and peace. Nobody likes the sound of giving control of their lives to someone else. There will always be situations that are out of our hands, but we can always control our reactions to them.

Whether it’s the election or day-to-day issues, remember the following: If you don’t like it, change it! If you can’t change it, change your perspective on it.

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BELIEFS AND VALUES

Beliefs systems are the key to your success or failure

From beliefs come behaviors. So a wrong belief can lead to wrong behaviors & decisions.

Personal example. I had (and it can still come up) a belief that I could never do enough or be good enough. This false belief would drive me to burn myself out, neglect important people, my life and to carry guilt, shame, and self-condemnation. At first, I thought it was because I wasn’t disciplined enough (false belief) so I would add more on myself to fix this issue. But it wouldn’t last or it would add to my belief that I wasn’t doing enough. It was a vicious cycle. Now I have gained freedom in that area by changing my belief. I work from love and not for it. I operate from victory, not for it. My belief has changed, therefore my behavior changed. Just trying to change your behavior won’t usually last unless the root reason or wrong belief is dealt with.

Beliefs are assumptions that we have made about ourselves, others & the world around us. Beliefs become our rules – our expectations. Beliefs are also are things that we need in order for us to feel a certain way, whether it’s loved, happy, successful etc.  Let’s say there is a mother that has a belief that if she’s a good mother then her children will always behave a certain way. But the reality is, kids are not always going to behave that certain way. These beliefs are usually not based on reality but rather our past experience, or something we learned when we were growing up. You can imagine how this false belief can affect the mother and even her children.

Beliefs are rules, but values are emotional states that you think are important to either experience or avoid. They are states that we either want to move towards or away from. If I ask you “what do you value?” You my might say your spouse, your children, your house, or your car but actually, what you value are the feelings that those things bring you.

For example, if you value your family, it’s really the feeling of security and love. If you value your car it’s the feeling of adventure, freedom, protection, or status.

The things we value are actually behind these objects or people.

When values & beliefs don’t agree it will cause unrest in your life.

If you value the connection with your family when you get home from work but you have a belief that you must work 60 hours in order to be successful, this will cause a conflict either way.

Don’t just think your beliefs & values are right, you must be brutally honest with yourself. Oprah for example.. She is a very successful woman who helps a lot of people in the process. Yet in an interview she said that she won’t “feel” successful until she is totally comfortable with who she is. Oprah was abandoned by her parents when she was younger and was sexually assaulted so this belief she has is setting her up for unrest. If those beliefs and values are not changed, she could go her whole life never feeling “okay” with herself.

Questions:

What are beliefs?
How do beliefs affect our lives? (good and bad)

Application:

Beliefs and values affect our quality of life and they can be changed. Write down at least two areas in which your values and beliefs are not in agreement.

Richard Martinez

Transformation Expert

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CRITICISM THROUGH LOVE

Definition of Criticism:

  1. To find fault with: criticized the decision as unrealistic.
  2. To judge the merits and faults of; analyze and evaluate.

We don’t need a special gift or powerful discernment to see our faults and weaknesses in people. Whether it’s with our appearance or abilities, we know we have faults and weaknesses. We are all somewhat aware of what we lack. We know we sometimes do wrong and fall short. When I ask people, “What are your weaknesses?”, 95% of the time they will quickly give me a list. The sad thing is that when I say, “okay, now what are your strengths?” Most of the time they have a lot of trouble giving me this list. Many times they will ask me to help because they can’t think of any, so I quickly give them a list. After doing this, they realize how difficult it was to think of their strengths and it’s at that time that I ask, “Why is it so easy for you to give me a list of your weaknesses yet so hard for you to share your strengths?”

What is Self-Criticism?

Self-criticism is something that can rob and kill your life. I’m not talking about self-examination, which is what I want to encourage you to do.

Self-examination is self-criticism through love. Speaking the truth in love. It’s truth that empowers.

Self-Examination is necessary to keep us advancing in every area of our lives.

Self-Examination is looking at yourself and being honest about who you are and who you are not (true humility).

Self-examination is to clearly look at yourself and life in order to be most effective in your stewarding your life in a way that has direction & purpose.

Self-examination isn’t fault-finding but rather potential finding.

I believe that the level of self-criticism I see in a person is an indicator of how capable that person is to love those around them. I have noticed that the people who are hard on themselves are usually hard on those around them. How they feel about themselves is a main ingredient in how they will treat others.

If you can see your faults and weaknesses, great! This means you are not in denial. The key is, DO NOT dwell on them. Look past the problem into the potential. Anyone can see the problem. You don’t need to be gifted to do that. To be able to see past the problem and into the potential means being intentional. This also applies when looking at others. Instead of reacting or getting annoyed with others’ faults and weaknesses, see past those problems and into their potential.

Applying this principle will change your life. It gets you to live in a constantly renewed mind that sees good. What you behold, you will become. If you focus on good, you become better but if you focus on the negatives, they will hold you back and take you down.

Richard Martinez
Transformational Expert

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BROKEN PEOPLE LIVE FRACTURED LIVES AND BREAK OTHER

Broken people live fractured lives and break others. Healthy people live healthy lives and heal others.

You will always reproduce the environment around you that you cultivate within you. In other words your internal reality will define your outward.

Many people have pain inside them that hasn’t been dealt with. The roots of these fractures could be traced all the way back to our conception. The circumstances of our birth and upbringing can cause us to believe lies about ourselves that keep us from the reality of our true identity. The result of these lies is that we develop patterns of behavior that are designed to protect us in a hostile world. We think we have to do whatever it takes to kill the pain and simply survive.

Learning to Love Yourself

We must get the realization of your value and begin to step out of the prison and into the palace. Out of defeat and into your destiny. No longer focusing on your problems rather on your purpose.

When we lack love for ourselves we lack the belief for good things for ourselves and will eventually sabotage ourselves. Just as when someone values us more than we value ourselves, we tend to sabotage our relationship with that person. Secretly, we don’t want them to get close enough to find out that we aren’t as good as they think we are.

When we are trained to feel insignificant, we develop survival skills to try to avoid the pain in turn we avoid love & relationships at the same time. Inward pains that have not been healed produce false beliefs and fears and we become defense to the world around you.

Many people spend their entire lives reacting to what they don’t want to be instead of responding to the call & purpose in their lives. Our past can become our prison. One of the ways we tether ourselves to the past is by reacting to those who abused us and spending our lives trying not to be like them. Yet, people typically become like the person they most despise. You will become what you behold, therefore if you are constantly beholding the person you are trying not to be most likely you will become like them.

We Become What We Imagine

Prov. 23:7 “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”

We tend to reproduce what we feast our thoughts upon. What I am realizing about many of us is that we spend much of our lives reacting to what we don’t want to be instead of responding to the call & purpose of our lives.

What are three things that are valuable about you?

How do those three things help other people?

How can those three things help on a greater level?

Application:

For the next few days wake up every morning and declare out loud the three valuable things you wrote about yourself and using your imagination visualize what you are declaring.

Richard Martinez

Tranformation Expert

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POWER OF PEACE

When we give our body’s downtime we are able to recharge and become more centered. When we get the rest we need and make relaxation a priority in your life you will create peace. Your tranquility surround your life and you will be better able to handle all situations that come your way.

You recharged when you take time to pursue your passions and hobbies. Even though you are an adult, you playtime is important for you health and happiness. Taking time to go on a bike ride or going out with friends can be very refreshing. You can release any stress that you may have.

You body requires rest and sleep to function at its highest potential. That is why we should be making sure we get our rest. Resting your body allows your mind to be clear so that you can embrace your peaceful state.

Tonight I challenge you to take your time in preparing for sleep instead of rushing through you routine. This way you can appreciate the process of preparing for rest and begin getting your full being ready for rest. Joyfully get into your neatly made bed and breathe deeply several times being thankful for your bed, for your body, for you life. This prepares you to receive rest fully. As you drift off to sleep you can appreciate the stillness of the room and the stillness of your mind. When you awake, you will feel renewed and can start your day off with the power of peace.

Have you taken the time to play?

Did you get an appropriate amount of sleep last night?

What is your nighttime routine?

Richard Martinez

Transformation Expert

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THE POWER OF RELAXING

I know for many type A, dominate, goal oriented personalities it can be difficult to relax and rest. For others they need to get off their butts and get to work but… right now ill be talking to those who find it hard to rest.

First you must stop feeling guilty about relaxing and that it’s a waste of time! How? By knowing what it will produce for you. It will make you more productive and reach more goals! If you look at it that way, isn’t it more inviting? Ha!

Relaxation is so important to our wellbeing. We should take at least a night off each month to do something you enjoy knowing that it leads to a greater health and productivity. When you work, you do it with all your heart and when you relax, you should learn to allow yourself to be equally present and engaged with the activity and goal at hand.

Maybe you will choose to watch a movie, or maybe a hike or even another time simply reading a good book. Whatever you choose to do, taking time for yourself renews your energy. When you go back to your routine tasks and responsibilities you will find yourself more focused and productive, with a more positive perspective and the obstacles at hand.

With the ability to relax you will be better able to deal with challenges that come up in daily life. You must become unapologetic about taking this time for yourself because you know that relaxation makes you a better person all around. You become more competent and better to meet the needs of life.

What do you enjoy doing the most?

When was the last time you allowed yourself to do something relaxing just for yourself?

Which upcoming evening can you plan to set aside for relaxation and fun?

Richard Martinez

Transformation Expert

 

 

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LOVE AND PAIN ARE BORN IN THE SAME PLACE

How do you love and be loved without getting hurt? The truth is if we are truly going to love and be loved, pain will be a part of our experience.

Let me start by saying that it’s my opinion that love is the greatest need that we have as human being have along with food and water. Jim Al-Khalili a physicist says, “love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent”. Philippa Perry a philosopher says, “Love is above all”. Catherine Whybourne a Benedictine nun says, “Love is more easily experienced than defined…The paradox of love is that it is supremely free yet attaches us with bonds stronger than death. It cannot be bought or sold; there is nothing it cannot face; love is life’s greatest blessing.” In researching perspectives of love I found an article that says, “Deprivation comes in many shapes and forms: lack of food, diseases, maltreatment, and child abuse are some of the harms that come to mind. However, I would argue that deprivation of love can be just as deadly” 

There are so many definitions of love out there but here are a few:

–       “An affection of the mind excited by beauty and worth of any kind… Love between opposites sexes, is a compound affection, consisting of esteem, benevolence, and animal desire” American Dictionary of The English Language 1828

 –       “This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It’s when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that’s how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.” Urban Dictionary

 –       Love = Warmth, Nourishment and Protection

 –       “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” 1Cor 13:4-8

Why do we need to experience pain if we are truly going to love and be loved?

Trust is that love and pain are born in the same place. Love is birthed in a “womb” and this womb is a place of vulnerability and intimacy. Vulnerability causes us to be susceptible to different levels of pain. This is why one must come to a personal conclusion if love is worth the risk. There is a, “counting the cost” involved in love but this counting the cost is in the very nature of love itself.

When you are willing to make yourself vulnerable to someone you are essentially communicating to him or her that you are willing to give them your heart. Your heart is valuable to you therefore this shows your value for them. It shows that you trust and value them enough to have a level of intimacy or in-to-me-u-see. This in turn causes them to feel valued, trusted, respected, heard, understood or in one word, Loved.

Understand this, love is as food and water, without it we die (internally). I encourage you to “count the cost”, to love and to become easy to be loved. Let people in. In-to-me-u-see. This is where the love is born.

The Pain of Love

Than comes the issue of getting hurt. Since our hearts is valuable shouldn’t we guard them? It’s out of your heart that springs forth the issues of life therefore yes you must learn to guard your heart. What does it look like to guard your heart in a healthy way? I say, “healthy way” because many guard their hearts with defense mechanisms such as, anger. Anger says, “I’ll hurt you before you hurt me”. It’s a defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms hinder love and truth from entering into our hearts (Closing up & avoiding things can be another defense mechanism that’s robs us from truth and love).

So what does the “healthy” way look like? It looks like you being clear on who you are & who you are not (true humility). It is you knowing your identity and your value. Only than can you be confident about letting people into your heart space. Why? First, because you know who you are therefore can affectively give yourself to another and be able to receive the love in return. And secondly, because you value yourself therefore would not allow someone to abuse you in any way.

Therefore the, “healthy way” has nothing to do with what people are doing or not doing. It has to do with your own personal internal reality. When you have a peace and confidence within it will manifest itself outwardly too. We guard our hearts not through defense mechanisms but rather through the confidence and freedom we have within through knowing our true identity and value. With it comes to relationships we must be bold as a lion & yet gentle as a dove. Be bold because of the risk of getting hurt & gently because the opportunity to love and be loved.

There is a risk but love is worth it. Go and love and be loved!

Richard Martinez

Transformational Expert

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