Books

Boundaries in Marriage

Author: Henry Cloud

If you are married or planning on getting married in the future this book is a must read.  I would recommend you have an extra copy to have ready to give away also because it’s a great tool. To me it gives a great balanced definition of what love is and looks like in a relationship. Love isn’t just hugs and good feelings, love sometimes is telling the uncomfortable truth or standing your ground.

This book challenges the reader to take their power of happiness and peace into their own hands and not blame or make excuses. It shares how to remain firm yet respectful by setting boundaries. These boundaries are not selfish but rather see the bigger long term pictures and protects the relationship as a whole so both sides can be themselves and free in the relationship.

This book gives scriptural backing to its’ principles but religions is definitely not the focus, rather it’s on the relationship. It takes our complex emotions and gives simple and practical examples and explanations.

Henry Cloud has a series of Boundaries book and so far everyone I have read has bee a great read with real examples and solutions.

Richard Martinez
Transformation Expert

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Relationship Breakthrough

Book: Relationship Breakthrough

Author: Cloe Madanes Robbins

As a Transformation Expert I am always reading and learning different things on different topics. Since I have been getting many clients coming to me about relationship problems I have been really focusing on the topic of relationships. The more I learn the more I can help my clients.

 

This book is a good read with good tools and methods. This book seeks to open the reader’s eyes on how to seek and understand the others person’s world. Whether your partner, friend, co-worker, child or parent it’s so important for us to learn to get out of ourselves and into their world in order to really understand them and from there you will become more effective in communication and love.

 

Although I don’t feel this book goes too deep into things it does give some good tips and tools that will work for any relationship. Here are some things Cloe goes over in the book:

– Overcome life’s inevitable losses

– Resolve long-standing family conflicts

– Synchronize their needs with those of others

– Create outstanding relationships in every area of their lives

– Expectation can create problems.

– Having a plan in relationships

– Don’t blame

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The Ultimate Power

Book: The Ultimate Power

Author: Dave Grant

This book seeks to reveal the power of love. The author reveals the power of fear and how it destroys our relationships but also shows the “Ultimate Power” of love and how it strengthens, builds and maintains our relationships.

This book gives 12 steps to become a healthier and more loving person, as I call it, a “Smart Lover”. This book break many false beliefs people have when it comes to love, which I believe to be vital these days.  Love today has become more lust and pleasure and has so many conditions and constraints. These conditions and constraints hinders the power of love and even moves away from what love actually is and therefore the benefits of the power of love is not experienced. The 12 steps better’s you as a person therefore overflows into all your relationships.

This book was a refreshing and confirming book for me to read personally because I myself wrote a book on the topic of love and Dave Grant has many of the same foundational principles that I have written and teach on still today.

Richard Martinez

Transformation Expert

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Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…And It’s All Small Stuff

Author: Richard Carlson, PH.D

I really like about this book is how easy it is to read. Although Dr. Carlson is a PhD, he doesn’t write in such a way to sound more scholarly but rather very practical. The book gives simple ways to keep the little things from overtaking our lives and each chapter is no more than three pages at the most. Because it’s small and has many pearls of wisdom I recommendation is to keep this book in your car, by your toilet, at work in your drawer, or in your bag. You can easily pull it out when you need a few minutes to recharge and get your mind right.

There are hundreds of tips but here are ten to give you an idea.

  1. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  2. Let go the idea that gentle, relaxed people can’t be super achievers.
  3. Don’t interrupt others or finish their sentences.
  4. Learn to live in the present moment.
  5. Become a better listener.
  6. Choose your battles wisely.
  7. Remember that everything has God’s fingerprints on it.
  8. Practice ignoring your negative thoughts.
  9. Take up Yoga.
  10. Mind your own business.

This inspiring book tells us literally NOT TO SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF and to stop the things that slow our progress in attaining a life free from stress.

Richard Martinez

Transformation Expert

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The Tools

Author: Phil Stutz & Barry Michels

This was an interesting read. I found it to be a good perspective-changer on dealing with pain and problems. Aside from some of the spiritual principles expressed in the book, I really enjoyed it and thought it was a worthwhile book overall.

Jungian psychology being a practical approach, Ellis’ Rational Emotive adds a Behavioral Therapy perspective to the subject matter. Psychiatrist Phil Stutz and Psychotherapist Barry Michels help clients suffering from depression, anxiety, insecurities, past hurt or difficult problems find innovative and spiritual solutions to their struggles. Considering the fact that all of this expertise is combined in the book, it starts to become clear why it provides some great change of perspective on self-discovery. The authors combined positive thinking, positive actions, and spirituality into their formula. What I really like is how they communicate that the foundation for its success is ultimately in the hands of the clients. The key is in their own willingness, perseverance, determination and dedication to apply these principles every time and in every area of their lives. I loved reading this part because that is a core belief we have at RISE Programs. We believe that the power is within you!

The authors provide the problems and tools to overcome these summarized problems:

Problems

  1. Moving Away or Avoiding Pain
  2. Unrealistic and Untrue Negative Belief Systems
  3. Insecurities based on Assumptions
  4. Negative Thinking

Tools

  1. Reversal of Desire
  2. Active Love
  3. Inner Authority
  4. The Grateful Flow
  5. Jeopardy

Richard Martinez

Trasformation Expert

Richard-the-tools

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The Warrior Within

Author: John Little

I really enjoy this read.  I loved all the things I read in each chapter, it was like a new life lesson each day and stimulated your soul and spirit in a positive way. People only think of Bruce Lee as a great martial artist but he was also a great thinker. His true passion was philosophy but he chose to express it through martial arts. I this he was an amazing gifted man who learned to be himself in all that he did. To just BE is to be FREE.

The main concept in the book is to ‘be yourself’. It is about easing up, and not adding complication to things that should occur naturally, such as in breathing. We each have our own answers inside ourselves and the power to heal and be strong is all within. That is really what it is all about and being able to connect with your thoughts and not hide from them. We are all unique and beautifully made and are filled with great potential. What made him amazing to me is that he lived what he spoke and spoke what he lived, Bruce lee was deep but also lived it with action, discipline and lots of training.

My favorite part about the book was in accepting yourself. If you accept yourself, then you won’t worry about what other people will think of you, or what to do here and there.

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His Needs Her Needs

Author: Willard F. Harley, Jr.

Many times in my work I not only coach and educate, but I also counsel.  For years I have counseled married couples who are at times dealing with deep-rooted problems, or at other times, simply trying to refresh their relationships. Relationships can be very difficult and painful if we don’t know how to build and maintain sustainable connection. I myself am always reading and learning about different things that will help my own interpersonal relationships and those of my clients. This book His Needs, Her Needs: How to Build an Affair-Proof Marriage is an interesting read. It gives stark insight into where people can lack in relationships and how we set ourselves up for destruction.

This book gets straight to the point. Although the book illustrates some concepts that aren’t aligned with my beliefs, I can appreciate so much of it. Harley helps his readers understand how unmet needs can contribute to spouses becoming unfaithful to each other, he offers a chapter on a concept he terms “Love Bank.” To Harley, each spouse has an internal bank that deposits or withdraws love units based on the emotional response offered or withheld by their partner in a relationship. It’s a good visual learning-aid to use the concept of “Love Banks”.

The bulk of the book addressed five emotional and physical needs, which Harley has identified as being applicable to couples. He has divided them into the needs of females and males – alternating between the genders in the book. The areas of emotional need for the female in the marriage are identified as affection, intimate conversation, financial support, family commitment, honesty and openness. For the man, critical emotional needs are defined as sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, physical attractiveness, domestic support, and admiration.

This book has good, strong, content and I would recommend it to anyone who is or will be in a relationship.

Richard Martinez

Transformation Expert

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